Blogger just ate a longish post about baseball so I will try to rewrite a compressed version.
So, baseball... I hadn't played it before today, unless you believe a vague memory from third grade or so that says otherwise. Since I know nothing of the rules I will assume that people reading this don't either. I will also assume that, like me, you don't have anybody around who can explain the game in an understandable language. Therefore I will now explain how it's played, based on my impressions from today.

Ok, for simplicity's sake you will start at point A. A good place to start. You will be holding a big aluminum stick* that fits comfortably in your hands, making you feel powerful and capable of unspeakable destruction. It is designed to make you feel this way. There will be mysterious people wearing masks behind you making you feel nervous. But not for long since you have worse things to worry about. Namely The Pitcher (P, as in pedagogic). The Pitcher is the wielder of a fistsized hard ball which he will throw at you with all his might. Your job is to defend yourself with the stick* and send the ball back at the pitcher or any of the other living targets in front of you. These targets aren't as lucky as you, they only have a cross between hockey goal and glove to protect themselves with. Once you've hit the ball you throw the stick (there goes your defence) and run for your life towards first base (point B) while the people you've just angered by shooting a ball at them will try to hit you with that same ball. However, if you reach B before the ball ancient custom will keep you safe from violence. Unless of course you try to reach C, which will upset people even more. Once you stop running the process will be repeated with the next person in your team, only this time you both will be running (he from A and you from whatever letter you stopped at) giving more targets for the glove people. The goal of the entire excercise (at least for you) is to go past the first four letters of the alphabet and then to return to A. Thusly this game is like many others in that you go through many perils and hardships in order to get back to where you started. After a seemingly random amount of time has passed the teams will trade places and you will get to wear one of the big gloves. At this point you can A: trust your pitcher to keep you safe by throwing the ball so that the A-person can't hit it or B: stand so far away that no reasonable stick wielder will aim for you.

Remains only to say that I had lots of confused fun, hit the ball twice, got hit by the ball once (in my back) and fell in muddy water once. My lab won! Yatta!

*: The stick is called "bat", this has nothing to do with small flying mammals though. The American Heritage Dictionary says:
ETYMOLOGY: Middle English, perhaps partly of Celtic origin and partly from Old French batte, pounding implement, flail (from batre, to beat).
Note that you're not allowed to harm your opponents directly with the bat.

listening to: Blue Öyster Cult - This Ain't the Summer of Love
feeling: wet and dirty