Insane choices/Udon and eggs
So the ramen was the only sane choice? I can't remember tha last time I claimed to be sane though. And there was the two eggs that I had forgotten.

Take a portion pack of udon, open it and put it in a bowl. Put on some water. Microwave for about a minute. Crack two smallish eggs on top and microwave again until the eggs are not quite as raw any more. Decorate with seaweed and two crossed aspargus stalks (from a jar I dug out from the back of a cupboard while looking for seaweed). You get this, which looks kind of like somthing I wouldn't mind eating if I was hungry enough.
Oh, and I forgot to mention to add salt and pepper.